Digital Eclipse

.. jail is weekends only!
( omg I didn't realize I'd spent that many words on whining )
So... Um. Yeah, that's been my month. If I sound stressed or inexplicably freaked out of small things, that's probably why. Sometimes I think my life is some sort of TV drama, and then I realize that any script writer worth their salt would toss it as too unbelievable for television. Also, long periods of "I should write/edit this but meeeeeh too lazy OMG PEOPLE ARE WRONG ON THE INTERNET" followed by brief bursts of "WTF IS THIS SHIT" is terrible pacing.

... you realize that you have to choose between a well-written scene and historical accuracy a.k.a. every bad porn trope ever. (Definitely NSFW, warnings for everything from Noncon and Incest to Pumpkin fucking and I think I skimmed past some watersports. Fandom clearly takes cues from the Victorians.)

Needless to say, I think historical accuracy is going to need a short vacation. Prickle! Prick I can manage, but prickle is a step below "whazzit" and "hoo-ha", something I previously never thought possible. There's a limit to my dedication to accuracy, and it stops right at using words like "aperture" when describing a sex act. This is worse than Hallways. So much worse. Though I'm happy to say that apparently Tony's letter wasn't that over-the-top after all, though making Steve and Bucky brothers is, apparently, much less a barrier than I supposed.

omfg staircases now. Someone remind me why I thought this was a good idea?

With much blame to people who shall remain unnamed (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), I may or may not have posted the First Story in my new Echo Bazaar/Avengers fusion.
( The Titles Were Hard )
In more immediate news, I need a beta. D: The Girl!Steve fic is ready to be shaken until the Terrible falls out. The trick here is that if you sign up, you have to be willing to get spoiled for the next Girl!Steve fic too, because they're linked, and I can't explain certain choices I made without explaining future plot twists. It's a bit over 50k. The plan is to edit Girl!Steve, and then post it in bits while I work on the Bazaar fic and all the massive work needed for Vampires. Then, posting Vampires in bits while I work on the Bazaar fic and fairytale. And then posting the fairytale fic while my soul curls into a fetal ball and cries.

So, anyone up for part one of the plan? :D?

No kittens yet. I've had a serious talk with my cat about how rude it is to keep us waiting like this, but she's a cat. She'll do it whenever she damned well pleases.

I'll probably be putting up my card post soon, so start thinking if you want one. No take-backsies once they're stamped. :P
( rambling )
( Fic Exchange! Spoilery! )
Finally, a confession.

I OTP Darcy/Loki in movieverse. No, I don't have any fricking clue how this happened, other than that it's beautiful crack and I have a habit to support. I may have to write it, just as soon as I write LokiPreg fem!Loki/Doom.

And then perhaps fem!Loki/Doom/Darcy, as the next logical step.

... Yep. I've been broken.

Like Tony's dick.

GO HOME.

My family still isn't completely gone. A cousin lingered, and as a result so did four extra dogs, on top of the three of their dogs that they are dumping on us permanently.

Yes, I said that right. Permanently. This brings our grand total up to twelve. Because I don't have enough trouble caring for nine, I guess. And one of them? Tries to eat my cats. We are so not doing this. :| This is the third week that my cats have been locked back in my bedroom, and I'm getting really, really sick of it. Steps are going to have to be taken, because my cats are not living in terror.

I have not yet begun attempting to knit. Instead, I am attempting crochet, because apparently I win that way. I keep bringing my shiny new needles and (admittedly cheap until I can manage decent stitch) yarn to work, and then keeping on with crochet because it still is wonky, which drives me wild.

That's... kind of it for me. I'm tired, sniffly, cold and frustrated, and that seems like it will continue until the last cousin is gone and I can properly train our new additions. I am making a half-assed effort towards NaNo, but I do not think proper writing is going to happen until things settle again. :(

All that stuff I posted earlier about how it sucks that my car is broken.

Ignore it. It is amazing that my car broke down when it did. Yes, I will be singing a different tune when the bill comes in, but for now, I'm thrilled. A bunch of horrible dominoes toppled against each other, and resulted in a Good Thing.

Okay, here's how the day went, and tell me if this isn't a damn miracle.
( The Story )
TL;DR, 1) if my car hadn't broken down, 2) if I'd had my GM motor club card, 3)if I'd been able to get ahold of Mary, 4) if the tow truck scheduling hadn't screwed up, 6) if the bookstore had been willing to take my cousin's book and 7) if traffic had been lighter, a little doggy would have probably been dead tonight. Instead he's warm and curled up under a wrap in my comfy chair with me.

Nearly Roadkill.

TL;DR, so angry I could spit.

As everyone and their long-lost Grandcousin's Brother's Nephew's Best Friend's Former Roommate knows, I Do Not Like the place Papa is staying at. I haven't liked it from the day I walked in there. My dislike is only being more cemented by evidence. Every damned day, I have to chase down a nurse to correct something, from "why wasn't the rash on his back treated this morning" (the answer: They don't know) to "where is his dinner" (the answer: Oops). I also have to battle them about my right to ask questions and give directions (the paperwork has mysteriously gone walkies).
( Whoops, didn't realize how long this is )

Did I say Pepper/Natasha was going to be ~20k? I meant ~25k. Bit it's not going to go up to ~30k, at least. Really!

... (headdesk)

I just tapped 19k 20k, and the plot still needs to wrap up. Another day of in-fic time, I think. I figure another thousand for this scene, and then two thousand for the actual porn (should I manage actual porn; I have never written femslash porn!), and then one/two thousand words of wrap-up. Maybe a scene inserted in the middle to prop up a plot point. Cut some (most—all?) of the drunkenness... Four scenes more, tops!

... *whimper* What happened to 10k?!

ETA Which No One Will Care About: I posted a non-Marvel HC_Bingo thing. Prompt was "accidents", series is Final Fantasy XII, focus character is Larsa. Ye of Little Patience is over yonder.

I am posting from the emergency room! Fun! [/sarcasm]

Papa took a bad fall today. He was trying to take off his pants, of all things, and lost his balance. We've only told him a few million times to sit down instead of bend over. X.x IF ANYONE WONDERS WHERE I GET IT, NOW YOU KNOW.

We had a fun time getting him up and into a wheelchair to get him outside, but there was just no way in hell that he was getting in my car. So, ambulance. Ambulance that was 5 miles away and yet managed to take 40 minutes to arrive. They got lost, OI. I know we live in the middle of nowhere, but really people.

According to various people, he's probably broken his hip. Hopefully it's not too bad. They're also doing a CAT right now, in case he hurt his head in the fall. Then they'll take him for the X-rays. So all I can do is wait and try to be useful. (And now you know how I've found time to type all this out with my thumbs. YAY FOR MY CELLPHONE!)

Actually, there was a fun part. I got to follow the ambulance. In the process, I found out my car can go over 100MPH. That was very much fun, though I might have appreciated it more if I hadn't been worried sick. I feel bad for all the drivers I cursed out. Do not get between me and the ambulance that has my grandpa.

She's home! Finally. (collapses) Today went... badly. Not terribly, because she's home, but badly. First, I got to wake up at dark o'clock to swill down coffee like a pirate does his rum and stagger out the door to the vet's office. Got there and waited for a while before actually getting to talk to anyone. Zena was fine, she was being fed and they were doing some chesks on her to make sure everything was normal. We could go home!

As soon as someone came in to handle my paperwork.

For, you see, because the the insane hours this lady works, I got there before the clinic was technically open, and no one knew how to check me out. (twitch) So I set around for a while and as soon as someone came in, I was at the desk. I put down a year's worth of car payments (no, this is not an exaggeration, though I should note that I have a low car payment), signed away a spare soul, got The Lecture ("keep the cone on, high protein food only, here's the pills, here's a razor we have a handy bucket if you want to suicide") and I finally got to see my baby again.

They had the cone attached to some gauze around her neck. I thought it looked kind of unsteady and easily removed and asked if I should put it on her harness instead. See, Zena is a bright puppy. The kennel she was in probably didn't have room for her to work at the cone, but running free she would have a lot more tricks at paw. I was reassured that it was fine, the cone wouldn't come off, etc etc. So we finally escape to make our way to a pet store to purchase her food and maybe a little puppy-retail therapy. Zena curled up in the back seat on a blanket I'd brought for her.

Five minutes later, she had the cone off and had popped the stitches on her ass end. Fucking hell. If I hadn't stuck a hand back there to pet her and gone "wait--cone? NO CONE?", it would have been much, much worse. I, being the panicky puppy-mommy I've been this week, almost caused a crash getting my car off the freeway and into a parking lot. It was pretty much like I'd worried. The gauze was good to keep it on in the kennel, but once she had room to move all bets were off. I think what she did was put her paws on the collar-edge and pushed until it popped free. That's what she started trying to do when I put it on her harness.

So, back to the vet we went. I got another Lecture (because the surgeon refused to believe she could take it off), and she went back in to have her stitches taken care of. (For those interested, the khaki-colored jeans I was wearing are going to be ruined, unless I can get the blood out.) A few hours later, we were free once more, and I footed another, thankfully smaller, bill. This time, the cone went on her harness, even though I got amused looks from the nurses. Then we went to the pet store, and I got her a new collar, a new tag, pill pockets and her food. Yes, I should have saved the money. But it made me feel less inclined to throttle her, so I consider it well-spent.

Now, I am home again, and any good will I'd gained from the initial rescue from the vet was squandered in the return. She won't even share a couch with me. Still, she's home, I'm poor, and we have another appointment next week. All's well that ends well.

Now, I have a few thousand words to write before I crash and burn. Not to mention an entire writing system to rethink. Oi. Perhaps I will post about comics bang later, if I'm not passed out in exhaustion. We'll see.