Cap!Reborn ReCap 3

[tsukinofaerii]

SPOILERSCaptain America Reborn Issue #4 comes out tomorrow, so I decided to go ahead and post Issue #3's recap now and finally be caught up. \o/ The cover of this particular, fine comic is Cap and a machine gun. No, I really don't get it either. Our cover theme seems to be Cap Is Awesome, without any connection to much of anything that happens inside the cover. Oh, well.

The sliding scale of Win gives this issue...That's right! We finally get a picture of the one and only Tony Stark, and it instantly moves the Win Scale up a whole color! Wait? You want something else that's more than "meh"? Maybe next issue.

In our last issue, we had Cap still wandering back and forth in time, with no plot, reason or even vaguely interesting ideas in sight. Sharon is somehow connected to Cap's "death/not-death", and no one is telling us why. Gobby is Evil and also, incidentally, owns the only sign of plot: he wants to put Red Skull into Cap's Body and then use him as a minion in order to support Gobby's Tyranny. That'll go over well, I'm sure. Finally, nuCap is being held hostage until Sharon gives herself up. I'm tempted to call Sharon the Distressed Damsel for her place in all this, because I seriously can't see any reason for her place except that they wanted to include a girl, and she's yet to do anything except Be Distressed.

Inside the cover, we open with a shot of Steve in all pale blues, looking vaguely thoughtful and, incidentally, very cold. He's basically recapping that omg! He's trapped in time! And this is bad for his mental health. It turns out, Steve is trapped in the ice. Again. And this time, he's conscious. SO MUCH DO NOT WANT. His tone worries me, a bit. It reads very slow, almost bored, as he goes through his Avenger's Origin, with Namor's attack and the stereotypical natives. Here's some pretty art for you. And here's the text that's missing from that:

Cap: Trapped in the ice again... How many times have I been here? So helpless... If only my eyes had been frozen shut all those years.... I pray to skip away through time again... even back to the Depression... Even to my mother's deathbed...

In short, this bit creeps me out. A lot. Will Cap come back with his sanity intact, or are we going to be looking at a Very Different Captain America? D:

The plot continues pretty much as we expect. This is a straight-up rehash, which kind of reinforces my hypothesis that Reborn is a way to get N00bs in on the game. Namor is pissy, breaks the ice, Steve floats off—if you're reading this, you probably know the drill.

Our next scene is helpfully labeled "The Arctic Ocean – Where Steve Rogers' Body Was Secretly Laid To Rest. The colors are looking a little more normal again, if a bit pink right now, but not bad. Maybe they're getting tired of trying to come up with a new shade for every time/place. Namor leaps out of the water like a small dolphin, and Reed Richards is there, thanking Namor for coming. The next panel shows us what kind of awesome Namor really is.

Namor: I wouldn't take time from my day for you, Richards. I'm here for Captain America.

What's not to love about that sort of honesty? Reed pretty much agrees, and they get down to business: examining Cap's body. Marvel pretty much seems to have shoved as much of the DO NOT WANT as they could into this issue, maybe it payment for the half-naked short-shorts Steve of yore, because we're treated to a slightly hazy picture of Steve's corpse through the glass of his coffin. D: They make it even worse because, as far as I can tell, Steve was buried naked. I see no signs of clothing on that corpse.

Say it with me now: DO NOT WANT.

I have searched for a scan and not found it. I'm going to consider this a sign and let it go. I will, however, note that dead!Cap inside the coffin is suspiciously similar to this, down to the out-stretched arms and highly prominent rubs, so this is probably just the result of the artist being lazy. Either way, Cap was buried in the nuddie.

Fortunately, the horror of Steve's desiccated body doesn't last long, because he fades away . Can someone please explain to me why Cap has been trapped in time for a while now and his body has only just vanished before our eyes? Narrative convenience only stretches so far.

Poor Namor is devastated, of course. Cap's resting place was his responsibility, and now the body's gone. Reed, as per the norm for Reed, is distracted by the Shiny of it all, and immediately starts trying to apply technology. Reed immediately contacts Hank, and this is priceless.

Reed: Hank, do you read me?
Hank: Loud and clear, Reed... There's some news on the—
Reed: Wait. I'm at the arctic resting place... And we've got a problem...
Hank: Oh... I was just going to say the same thing to you...

Next scene! We're in Hank Pym's Lab, and Hank is telling Reed to check the news. The world is green again. WTF. The news is reporting that Sharon is At Large. Ruh-roh. Sharon and ScarJo are arguing—Sharon wants to give herself up in order to save nuCap. When given a choice between bringing back Steve and handing herself over to a madman, Sharon chooses the madman. Great way to portray women, guys. Just marvelous. ScarJo is being sensible and saying no, and Vision agrees with her. ScarJo's hair is... you know, IDEK. It looks like someone took her ponytail and made it poofy. Maybe because they needed to make it less obvious that Sharon and ScarJo are basically recolors of the same art. They're even in identical-but-recolored clothing.

We don't get a location label on this next spot, maybe because it appears to be a jet flying over... erm, somewhere. We're looking at buttery yellows now, if you're following the color code. NuCap is being beaten up Scourge (Identity and Powers Unknown—Current Thunderbolt) and Ghost (Ethereal Scientific Genius—Current Thunderbolt). That's pretty much that. Paladin (Mercenary Soldier—Current Thunderbolt) and Ant-Man (Regretting Being a Current Thunderbolt) are in the cockpit, which means some time must have passed, since we just saw Hank. Is Hank playing Thuderbolt? I have no idea. When Paladin tells Scourge that it's not a good idea to hurt the prisoner, Scourge proceeds to call upon the Random Number Gods and ask, "What's he going to do about it?"

Unnoted jump again, back to what is either Hank Pym's Lab or Tony Stark's Bedroom a Captain America Museum. Sharon is wandering around a room filled with Cap memorabilia, including the variations of his shield, pictures, his medals... Meanwhile, she Angsts. She's thinking about nuCap's Plight, and What She Did To Cap, and it really doesn't take a genius to figure out what she's going to do. At no point, however, does she pause to think, "If I give myself up, Cap will be Lost In Time forever!" Nope, all angst, no common sense. Sigh.

A giant panel comes next: Cap Kicking Skrull Ass in the Kree-Skrull War, yeah! We also get to see a giant Clint, dressed in very little leather, along with Cap's obligatory commentary explaining that Clint is Goliath at this point in history. I have tried desperately to find a scan of the next panel, because it's the only reason this one wasn't rated "meh". Alas, no one seemed interested in capturing Tony's butt for posterity. And just as I finish typing that, I find gold. I♥U, internet. It's wonderful how, for no real reason, Tony's body armor was designed like cheekies. I have underwear that fits like this.

Cap is angsting like a dedicated Tony cosplayer, pondering exactly how much it sucks to be him right now. Is there nothing he can do to stop this madness?! But wait! Is that... I think it is... OMG. PLOT! Past! Vision shows up and tells Cap that he's needed on deck. And Cap? Cap has an idea.

Cap: You still back up your memory banks on the Avengers computer?
Vision: Daily when possible, in case I'm ever deactivated and lose data. Why?
Cap: Because I need to tell you something, and then I need you to forget it. To bury it deep in your memory storage... Can you do that?
Vision: Yes... It should not be a problem.

DUN DUN DUN. What does Cap tell him? I have no idea, because our scene cuts off there. I can't even imagine what Cap could say, other than "HELP. LOST IN THYME. HELP. Luv, Steev", because he seems to know less about it than anyone else. Oh well, maybe it'll be put to good use. At least, it had better be.

Our next scene is pretty straightforward. Falcon is on a rescue mission—it even says so in his descriptor. Considering that our first shot is of him breaking into the bad guy's cockpit, I'm tempted to say this is a no brainer. Ant-Man (Just Looking for an Excuse to Leave) goes to secure the prisoner. Thanks to these events, we are greeted with the image of a tiny Ant-Man saying, "Hey dude!" to a battered and scruffy nuCap. He proceeds to set nuCap free, because our little Ant-Man has a self-preservation streak, and knows which way the wind is blowing. Meanwhile, Scourge is being really stupid and trying to fight using Cap's shield. Sam is, of course, kicking his ass.

Scourge: Dammit, Ghost! Worry about flying the ship--I can handle this one!
Sam: You so sure about that? I was trained by the guy that shield was made for...

Remember when Scourge called upon the Random Number God? Well, he rolled snake eyes. NuCap is free, and he's pissed! Also scruffy still. NuCap takes out Scourge, while Falcon goes after Ghost. And then they fly off into the sunset. Or at least, into the pinkish clouds.

Next scene is short, but full of facepalm. Sharon's gone AWOL. Three guesses where she is and the first two don't count...

If you guessed "turned herself in to Gobby", you are very sadly correct. *sigh* (headdesk)

Finally, we come to our last scene! It's villains again. Skully-Baby is standing around in his little robot ody, watching the news that Sharon's turned herself in and being very full of himself. Osborn doesn't know what Sharon's the key to, blah blah blah. His head kind of reminds me of a turret from Portal. Sin and Crossbones show up, and Gobby was nice enough to give them their gear back. They proceed to explain that yep, Gobby may be crazy, but he knows what he's doing. And then! Skully is shy! Awwwwh. He doesn't want them to look at him in his new robot body. His pose is very "STOP! In the name of love, before you brea~eak my heart..."

But look! Doc Zola gave Sin and Crossbones a gift for Skully! It's a shiny new head. Ew. Gods know why no one thought to stick a fake head on the robot body before, if it bothers him so much. They don't even bother to give him a nice head; just the same old red skull thing. Sin explains that this is just a temporary measure, until he gets the body he "deserves". Eep! Also, they're going to Latveria. Um. Okay, that means only one thing...

ANOTHER CLOSE-UP. This time of Skully-Baby. Eww.

Summary: Cap's Status is Still Lost in Time, Thank You Very Much, but he managed to leave an unknown message buried in Vision's memory banks. He may also be going insane. Fun times! NuCap was beaten up, then got to do some beating up, and is now making good his escape with Sam. ScarJo did something new with her hair because the secret twins plot is still secret. Steve's body is missing and presumed nekkid. And Sharon? Our walking, talking bit if Phlebotinum? She's done the intelligent thing and handed herself over to a madman. Oh, don't forget Skully, who is packing up his daughter and Right Hand Man (which is a dirty phrase if ever there was one) to take a family trip to Latveria, where (I assume) Gobby intends to give him Cap's body as a gift, hopefully without Cap still in it.

I really wish that last line didn't sound as bad as it does.

Stay tuned for Issue Four, wherein I begin to sob in vain hope for a reason to keep reading.

Comments

[dieewigenacht.livejournal.com]

I can only say there's something really off about Steve's leg in the whole "Kicking Skrulls ass" thing.

Other than that, OMG! A little piece of plot, that's new.

And Tony's Ass...Yes, yes yes.

Yes.

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

His hip appears to have been knocked out of place. It looks like the perspective threw them off—Steve is facing forward, but his leg is kicking to the side, and higher up than most live models could manage.

We only have two issues left! D: At least there's a glimmer of plot. Sort of. But Tony's ass really makes the issue. ♥

[pkoceres.livejournal.com]

...

[pkoceres.livejournal.com]

At least there's Tony's ass.

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

Yes. There's always that. And so lovingly drawn, too! It feels like a back-handed sort of gift. "I can't use Tony in the story, so here's a picture you'll all appreciate."

[pkoceres.livejournal.com]

In boyshorts, no less. X)

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

I really do think that boyshorts tend to cover a little more of the asscheeks. Really.

[pkoceres.livejournal.com]

Well, it is Tony.

You know that there's issue number six now, right?

[jazzypom.livejournal.com]

Instead of issues 1-5.

There's mooooorrrrrrreeeeee.

Re: You know that there's issue number six now, right?

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

D: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—(breathes)—OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Why would they do that? Is the plot not moving slowly enough? ;-;

(mourns)

[valtyr]

Reed: Hank, do you read me?
Hank: Loud and clear, Reed... There's some news on the—
Reed: Wait. I'm at the arctic resting place... And we've got a problem...
Hank: Oh... I was just going to say the same thing to you...
Reed: Don't be a fool, man, if you were at the arctic resting place I'd be able to see you.

Here. Where is Cap's left hip?

Also the first page, he looks totally bored and like he was experimenting with Emma's lipstick.

Also, labelling Steve 'missing presumed nekkid' is surely the best way to mobilize a search effort.

Also, I would TOTALLY HAVE BOUGHT a recap of Cap's origin with Hitch doing art, if they'd given him the time to make it look pretty! I would have bought floppies and probably the hardcover trade! I would even have tolerated the abysmal ridiculous plot for some good Hitch Steve art! But NO! *grumble* I bailed at two. Just don't care. I know he's back, and how isn't interesting or pretty.

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

Why does Reed's voice sound sort of like Bones from STXI in my head? o.O Fandoms that should never meet...

I think Cap's hip might have been left behind in the ice. Or maybe it's hiding in his ribcage, because if they'd just move the leg down a little, it wouldn't look so weird.

Well, Cap does have a history of crossdressing...

Yes, it would, until they got to the "half-frozen semi-skeletal corpse" part of it. (Why do I want to put "missing presumed nekkid" on an icon now?)

There's some spots where the art shows so much potential! Namor rising from the ice in his scaly short-shorts is very dramatic and pretty... and then we have the ScarJo/Sharon twins. o.O Which will probably turn into triplets if they ever end up in the same room as Sin. It just all feels very rushed. :(

[valtyr]

The image of him sitting around sharing hair and make-up tips with Emma is pretty boggling, though. Maybe she comes to his and Wanda's girls nights in.

Yes, well, we don't want the corpse looking too pretty, especially when Tony is feeling over-emotional and dumb. That way lies madness. You should definitely make that icon. Put it over poor Cap's blue face.

Yeah, Hitch is great - given time. The whole thing is being done completely half-assed, especially when you consider the time and effort they put into his death.

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

If Emma is giving him hair and make-up tips, the first tip she should have provided is that pale blue lipstick does not work for all blondes. As pretty as he is, his skin tone really needs more of a coral, or maybe a Detective Dame red.

Not just madness, but also someone's kink meme request (http://community.livejournal.com/marvel_kink/567.html?thread=466999#t466999). >> And how sad is it that I even remember that. D: And you rang? :D

Considering that not only did they extend it to six issues, issue 4 is going to be late. (And many thanks to those who actually pay attention to these things for me.) I'm pretty sure that this makes the half-assed label official.

[valtyr]

¬_¬ don't hate. Jazz said necrophilia was probably better for him than drinking again, as he'd probably stop at one corpse-humping...

*sigh* Phoning it it. Totally.

You did that one?

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

>.> I might have liked that one and immediately gone D: at myself.

I'm sorry, I can't stop loling at that "probably". Oh, Tony. D: But it is better than alcohol, definitely.

Re: You did that one?

[valtyr]

I may have slightly done that one. The Extremis delusion was an idea that was good, so. IT WAS TASTEFULLY DONE.

Where's Tony?
In the morgue again. ):

The corpse shrivelling up and becoming ugly was possibly some kind of primitive self-defence mechanism.

Re: You did that one?

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

It was very good! Extremis has the potential to be the best VR ever. (Ohai Ty.)

D: I'd say Cap's body can only last so long, but they have this whole frozen cellular decay thing going on...

The defense mechanism would fail, if we're including Extremis VR. Tony could just hallucinate that it wasn't shriveled. D:

Re: You did that one?

[valtyr]

Cap never liked Extremis. ):

I vaguely recall discussing a fic post-Tony-brain-deletion, when they find he's locked himself in a virtual reality in his brain, and Steve goes in to find him, and it's basically like Marvel Adventures only the girl Avengers take more showers.

In fact, I want that to be what happens with the new Tony-locked-in-own-brain comic. Dr Strange goes in and finds Tony hanging out with VR alive Steve and sane Wanda and not-hating-Tony Thor.

Re: You did that one?

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

D: Tony would never want to leave! I mean, burger dates! People like him! The Green Goblin isn't in charge of SHIELD HAMMER! I may have a WiP where Steve goes traversing through Tony's head. Except it's seriously lacking in fluffeh content. It's a popular concept!

And living Jan!

That would be... depressing. :( But Tonys of all sorts are very fond of their crutches, and 616!Tony's life sucks. I couldn't blame him if he decided he preferred to stay in VR...

Re: You did that one?

[valtyr]

Yeah, that's pretty much what happened in the proposed fic. Steve went in after him, and Tony was all ): no I'm staying here where all my friends are alive and don't hate me and Carol only ever wears a small towel.

So Steve goes back a couple of hours a week (it's not safe to do it more often) but Tony is obdurate, and then Steve turns up and is all, WELL I decided you were right and I'm here to stay. Let's go play some basketball. And Tony is what? No. And Steve is all, yup, apparently my body will die but I'll be here, in the nicer world. And Tony is D: and has to destroy the VR so they're kicked out. And then he's very mad at Steve, but at least he's out.

Re: You did that one?

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

D: Oh. Oh, ow. (makes hurt noises)

Poor Tony. D: And he and Peter could be all buddied up and geeky together again, and the villains are only ever corny mooks... And then Steve makes him take it away. (No doubt the irony of it being okay for Tony to be locked in his own mind, but not for Steve, will completely pass aforementioned Tony by.)

I need to go read MA now. :(

Re: You did that one?

[valtyr]

I need to go read MA now. :(

Try not to think that MA Tony is 616 Tony in a VR simulation, and all the MA characters are shown just how 616 Tony pictures his friends. It'll make you sad.

Re: You did that one?

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

Try not to think that MA Tony is 616 Tony in a VR simulation, and all the MA characters are shown just how 616 Tony pictures his friends. It'll make you sad.

I think I can manage that, as long as Carol is wearing more than a towel.

Re: You did that one?

[valtyr]

Carol's not in them.

She's in the shower

Re: You did that one?

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

See? So clearly this is not Tony's Head!VR, because Tony's Head!VR would have a Carol. /fridge logic

NOOOOES. You killed my logic!

[hallidae.livejournal.com]

Current Ant-Man is Eric O'Grady, if I remember right. He's a general asshat, but his time in the Thunderbolts has made him more amusing.

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

Just from what I've seen here, I sort of like him. It's a rare villain-ish person who is smart enough to know that annoying the Avengers is a bad idea.

[hallidae.livejournal.com]

He's gotten considerably better over time, especially since getting dropped into the Thunderbolts (then again, most of the Thunderbolts, save Mr. X and Scourge have gotten better). He was an absolute bastard in The Initiative.

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

Maybe we'll see more of him and his amusing captions. At the very least, I hope he doesn't die painfully.

I couldn't help myself

[checkersdefiend.livejournal.com]

After I read the "missing presumed nekkid" part, I sat at my computer a good few minutes with a stupid grin on my face.

I'm incredibly glad I just bought the fisrst issue, because your recaps are far more entertaining. Thanks for posting these.

Re: I couldn't help myself

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

ICON TWINS! \♥/ I feel loved. :D

Thank you! ^^;; Honestly, the only reason I'm still buying the things is because Marvel seems to need a pat on the back to encourage this whole, "Bring Cap Back" concept. I don't want them to get a bright idea and kill him off again for the sake of some quick sales.

Re: I couldn't help myself

[checkersdefiend.livejournal.com]

OOooHHH! I love it! I have to admit I"m jealous, but in a way that makes me want to go figure out how to do cool icons like that.

Comic book deaths are a big reason why I had a problem getting into comics. It's also a large reason why I'm having trouble staying interested. That and the really confusing canon.

If they do kill off Cap after this just for whatever, I definetly will stop reading Marvel.

Re: I couldn't help myself

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

Thank you. ^^; Iconing is a lot of fun! You should try. (pimp pimp)

I admit, I was a snob lol. If it wasn't manga, I wasn't interested. Oh, how the hypocritical have fallen.

I don't think that they'll actually kill Cap again. Not so soon -- it would be too much a kerfuffle. But I still view this as sort of a doggy biscuit. It's training for next time they think about killing off a main character and throwing the world into chaos. "Good boys! Now sit-- sit..."

[arileo.livejournal.com]

In short, this bit creeps me out. A lot. Will Cap come back with his sanity intact, or are we going to be looking at a Very Different Captain America? D:
I think yes. When he wonders how many times he's been there, it makes me think that he's relived that moment several times, and that he's been quantum leaping through his life for a while at this point. Lots of introspection time.

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

You see, normally I would think that you're right, because this would be an awesome set up for some really intensive characterization reflection, and maybe even some good plot. But with the way they're handling things, I'm not sure they'll be that kind.

I mean... Time Bullets. That kind of says it all.

[dieewigenacht.livejournal.com]

I still can't warp my mind around the whole "Time Bullet" thing, really.

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

I can, but it takes a few shots of whiskey first.;;

[dieewigenacht.livejournal.com]

That may be the problem, I don't drink whiskey.


Vodka though...

[arileo.livejournal.com]

With enough Vodka anything is possible.

Hehe

[dieewigenacht.livejournal.com]

Tell me about it, how do you think I came up with the multicolored zebra?

[otherhazards.livejournal.com]

*Twitch*

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

(offers hugs) :(

[jeanemon.livejournal.com]

8< I kinda like the comic. I don't buy too many, and I'm not a hardcore fan, so that might be why.

So, ahum, if you need any scans, I'll be buying my copy tomorow and I think I remember how to use my scanner.

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

Ohai, I fail at answering replies this week D:

You like it? BEGONE FOUL BELIEVER-- oh, wait, that's for shipping wank. Sorry. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. ^~ Personally, I'm having more fun sporking it than I am reading it, but as long as we get our Cap back, I'll be close to content.

I think it's been delayed (@-@), but scans are always very welcome. I thought I was going to have to go begging when I couldn't find any pics of Tony's ass. ♥

speaking of portrayal of women....

[hohaiyee.livejournal.com]

Most times, before I even read a comic, I flip through it to look at the art...are the women ALWAYS drawn in unnatural playgirl poses, even in the midst of battle, and how much does that happen...could often time lead to me putting the book down, that's why I put down Gen 13, even though I first picked it up because Warren Ellis's name was on it.

I liked Warren Ellis's Black Summer much better, with art by Juan Jose Ryp, The Gazes are fairly distributed and never distracting, and the women actually have distinctive and individually consistent faces. It does bother me when the how a female character look changes unrecognizably from book to to book, in books where all of the female characters look the same...and then there is role and characterization, like it doesn't matter at all as long as you have A Female Body there looking hot. I especially loathe the Ultimatum portrayal of Carol Denvers, she had short hair in Origins, but here, long flowing locks, D-size cups and skinny waist and she was holding two huge guns pointed to the ceiling to show off her bod in that pose. It was very urgh. < / rant >

I think I want Stan Lee back! I just read Avengers #2, Space Phantom, and Jan was awesome in it.

Re: speaking of portrayal of women....

[tsukinofaerii.livejournal.com]

Don't you just love it when a superheroine stands legs spread and chest out, even though that's exactly how you set yourself up to get taken down by a Mook? /sarcasm

Comics need more female writers, artists and editors, as well as to acknowledge the whole medium's failures when it comes to portraying women. I know that having women on any given team isn't always a solution, but it might help.