tsukinofaerii: Can't Think Without Coffee (Coffee)
[personal profile] tsukinofaerii
So apparently it's poetry month? Here's one to throw out there. It's just something I dtumbled over while looking for Tony's elegy for Dying. Which means, yep, it's about death.

Strew on her roses, roses,
And never a spray of yew.
In quiet she reposes:
Ah! would that I did too.

Her mirth the world required:
She bathed it in smiles of glee.
But her heart was tired, tired,
And now they let her be.

Her life was turning, turning,
In mazes of heat and sound.
But for peace her soul was yearning,
And now peace laps her round.

Her cabin'd, ample Spirit,
It flutter'd and fail'd for breath.
To-night it doth inherit
The vasty hall of Death.

Requiescat by Matthew Arnold

I spent the weekend pretty much flat on my back. Toothache combined with horrible nausea (which might have been caused by pain, I don't know) did not serve me well. *sigh* Unfortunately, this means I accomplished nothing, because opening my eyes and sitting up without being ill took too much effort. ¬¬;; I did discover that swishing whiskey like mouthwash solves even horrific dental pain (yes, I am a redneck) but this was not a viable solution for practical purposes. For the record, toothache has mostly subsided. Enough that I haven't missed work, at least. Which probably isn't a good measure, because I have a policy of only missing work based on illness if I'm physically incapable of getting myself there. Ho-hum, another day week in the life, right?

On the health front, I started a diet/exercise routine on Monday. Sort of. Okay, backstory time. See, my cousin Devon is currently doing a bodybuilding thing, and she's super into fitness. However, she previously had issues with her weight, which is to say that she nearly killed herself trying to be "skinny" in the stereotypical sense. If you knew my family's genetics, you would know that "skinny" is not happening. We're farm girls, which means hips and shoulders are both wide. So she was literally trying to achieve a look that she couldn't. Luckily, she pulled out of her dive and got on track to fitness, as opposed to skinniness, and is now the family's go-to person for "my body doesn't look like/work like anything these people talk about HALP" issues.

I had a sit down with her to discuss changing up my lifestyle. I'm out of shape. Not incredibly so—I jiggle in places I shouldn't have so much jiggle and that's about it, really. And I have a badonka-donk, in the fine tradition of farm girls everywhere. *g* However, I really would like to get healthier. And, you know, not jiggle as much. I can swing a bale of hay without breaking a sweat, but there's more to it, obviously. So we're switching up my diet (I have discovered greek yogurt; it is yummy, but strange) and adding exercise *groan*.

I've discovered one major obstacle to Devon's thoughts on me though. How much does she think I eat?! I've never been a big eater (I'm a grazer), and now I'm supposed to choke down a three egg whites, a whole egg and a half cup of oatmeal in the morning? And then snacks? D: Soooo not happening. Even if I could stomach eggs first thing in the morning (I can't), I would be ill. So definitely cutting down on portions. I also refuse to trust sugar substitutes (I'm sorry, but there's something suspicious about putting freaky chemicals into your body instead of something that you get naturally all over the place), and am not measuring my creamer. I'm bad, I know. (struts)

For exercise... the hard part is getting to the hard part. (sweatdrop) I have good muscles (see aforementioned swinging of hay bales), they're just well-padded. Walking left me tired (no jogging here just yet—my knees have had issues since the incident with Cozy's Saddle in '95, and I do not risk straining my heart without lots of care for various reasons), but apparently six pound dumbbells aren't heavy enough? The burn. I did not feel it. So IDK, I will keep trying, and see if the effect is cumulative. If not, maybe I'll move up in weight a bit, or add reps or something.

On girl!Cap bang, I am considering biting my tongue and doing my own art, but it feels way too much like flouncing. :\ "Baw, no one wants to do something for my *~masterpiece~*~!" Perhaps I'll start a sketch (only a sketch, because I am a slow artist, have no scanner to my name and never really became comfortable with my bamboo tablet) and if no one takes it up I can offer my own art. Or I can put together a fanmix, which will be odd because I have a lot of country music and rock on my computer. (I have already received some awesome girl!Cap art aside from the bang because [personal profile] valtyr and [personal profile] stormseye are amazing, so I do not actually feel bad.) I feel like the last kid left when they're picking teams for dodge ball lol. (Again!) This is strange. XD

Speaking of bangs, my poor artist for amnesia!Tony. D: I hope she doesn't hate me by now. That fic is a mess, and poking at it doesn't help me. I know it's missing something, but IDK what. D: And I can't figure it out. GRAH. Between that and girl!Cap, I am feeling very flaily and useless. Perhaps I should make a list of ideas for writing next to get my brain rolling. Or do a meme. Or something.

Finally... I need to get to work on my [livejournal.com profile] cap_ironman Women's Month post! (flail) Tony and Steve's mothers have so little to go on. D: I MUST WORK ON THIS.

WOW, hello rambling. (sweatdrop) Not feeling well makes me babble. Not that I need much excuse to babble, but a thousand words of nothing is pretty spectacular, even for me. I didn't even get to "HOMG WINCON IS ONLY SIX MONTHS AWAY", which is due pretty much any day now. I also have sort of good intentions of writing a "this is how I plan a fic" one day, just to make myself think about how I do it. Also the breaking out of girl!Cap costume for the wearing of to IM2, in addition to finding someone to drag along with me. Ah, intentions.

Huh. I have a lot to do. D: EEP.
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