tsukinofaerii: Wolverine sipping tea. Snoot Snoot (Snoot Snoot)
Bangs are scary. Really, really scary. There's deadlines, the mere mention of which has been known to send good writers and artists scattering to the far corners of the internet. Then there's the word count, which is usually high, sometimes much higher than you've ever attempted before. Finally, there's the knowledge that someone else depends on you, either for art or for a story to draw for. Collectively, it's enough to make you seriously think three or even four times before throwing your hat into the ring.

For the Procrastinator, all of this proves to be a special difficulty. Little things can become big problems if you have a tendency to put them off. But all isn't bad in the world of (Big) Banging. Every dark cloud has the ability to smite thine enemies with a thunderbolt from the Heavens. What do you want from the bang? Is it the challenge of trying to reach a lofty word count? A deadline to spur you on to victory? Or is it readers, a venue to reach new audiences?

None of these are bad reasons, but it means that you have to evaluate the bang you sign up for, and whether it will give you want you want. A smaller bang may work well for someone who wants a deadline. A larger one will bring more readers. Here's some things to consider when deciding if a bang is right for you.
What Should I Write? )
What if I Disappoint Everyone? )
So... Should I do it? )
Big Fish or Little Fish? Red Fish or Porn-Filled Sucker Fish? )
What about the Mods )
Facing your Dragon )
Willpower )
Love the Beast )
Short On Words? )
When the Dragon is a Hydra )
Beta Me Gently )
At Last... The End
You have done it. You wrote a bang-length story, received art, posted, and are due to recover from caffeine OD any day now. All you have to do is sit back and bask in the reviews, having proved to yourself that you can do it. Now is the time to swear that you'll never do it again. You're done! Finito! Finished! You have achieved the pinnacle of your art, at the cost of great pain, and no longer have to... have to...

Hey... Hey. What's that hot little bang over there?
tsukinofaerii: This is how I roll (Panda)
Yesterday, I had The Writing Discussion (Again) with my aunt. I've lost track of how many time I've gone over it with people, but she seems to be especially persnickety on the subject. Normally, I wouldn't even bother dedicating a whole post to this, except this time it took a twist, and I want to evaluate my thoughts before I forget them.
For The Thinky )
I've got my thoughts out there, being read and processed and considered by an unknown number of people. Most of them probably dismissed those thoughts, but maybe in ten years someone will remember back and smile. That's made my life worthwhile. So if, by some unhappy circumstance, I fail to wake up some day soon, I've got that. That's my legacy, and I'm content with it.

Disclaimer: I swear I'm not dying, or ill or anything of the sort! I don't even have an aching jaw right now. (crosses heart) This is just a riff off of a thought I had. No worries, loves. Disclaimed because the last time I posted on mortality, some people worried.

PS. Also, I want to see Killers, solely for the line, "Let's just say I work for the Blah Blah Blah, and they gave me a license to Blah." And the leads are cute. ♥
tsukinofaerii: Pepper Potts as Rescue (Rescue This)
On BoobQuake: It was a silly idea. Someone's joke in response to yet another person in the world showing his ass. Of course, as is true with almost anything that combines breasts and the internet, it expanded. As if 80,000 women* needed an excuse to wear low-cut tops, right? This is 2010! There's an ever-increasing number of places in the world where women can dress freely. I hear there's even places where women walk around entirely topless, and have for centuries! The internet is bursting with examples of female sexuality. So far no heads have exploded, nor have we all been consumed by Godly Wrath, so clearly we're on to something.

Keeping an eye on BoobQuake though has left me with thinky thoughts, because (predictably) the response has not been entirely positive, even in our "enlightened" age. If you glance at any but the most lighthearted of places, there's invariably at least one person in the comments saying that this is setting back feminism. This is demeaning us. We're supposed to be acting like people, not like animals. This sort of thing gives women a bad name. That sounds stunningly familiar. Where have I heard this before?
Oh, I know! Fandom! )
So to anyone who says that BoobQuake isn't feminist, I give unto you a hearty Shut The Fuck Up and Sit The Fuck Down. It's not our Collective Womanly Duty to be Responsible to anyone but ourselves, and the sooner everyone figures that out, the better off we'll be.


* I apologize for the gender binary as it's used in this post. I'm afraid I don't have the experience/education to frame it in any other terms. If anyone who doesn't fit the binary wants to talk about their particular experiences with this issue, I would love to chat.

** Women/Men as used here refer to gender presentation and perception. In other words, if Person presents as female, zie will be treated as female, and vice versa.

*** This by no means suggests that fandom activity is de-facto feminist, but I doubt that online fandom as it currently exists would have been possible without feminism.
tsukinofaerii: Iron Man holding  a blood-stained USA flag (Steve/Tony: Bloody Flag)
Please don't eat me.

There's two types of fail-meta wandering around fandom that I quietly determined not to poke into—misogyny in slash and homophobia in slash. On both I am all too likely to be RAGE FLAIL ANGRY YELLS OF DENIAL, and no matter how mildly I word my post/comments I can't be certain that I won't come out with all sorts of wrong. Slash is near and dear to my heart, and I've gotten very used to the "you write what, omg that's sick and wrong" reaction. So I bristle.

This is me avoiding bristling, and not avoiding poking the issue with a stick, because I have a long history with sticks and getting bitten on the ass.

(Note to self: tackle slash-shaming as relates to misogyny, homophobia and knee-jerk reactions to outsider accusations in another post. I do believe it's tangentially relevant to this post, but only tangentially. It seems to me that there's a correlation between slash outsiders [gay men who don't read/write fanfic, for example] talking about reasonable concerns in regards to slash, and the instantaneous VROOSH-ASPLODEY response from some slashers that is more emotional than reasonable.)

I feel like fandom, and slash particularly, have been instrumental in helping me grow as a person, as a bisexual person and as a writer. When I see posts that can be summarized as "slash is inherently anti-gay" or "female erasure in slash shows it's misogynist", it feels like my last ten years are being sneered at, and I want to defend all the good slash can do, and has done. I'm addressing both of these issues in one post because I feel like one leads naturally into the other, and I can't easily separate them.

I believe that the misogyny inherent in Western culture not only leads to misogyny in fanfic, but also directly into slash fanfic. Misogyny and homophobia are linked, and both are embedded into culture on an inherent and pervasive level, both of which end up reflecting in a genre that (unexamined) seems designed to avoid and discredit both. In short, it's a domino effect of fail. I do not think that the presence of problematic tropes discredits the entire genre.

I also feel that the majority of this discussion is about this discussion, which is repetitive at the best circle-wank at the worst. What started out reasonably (LAMBDA Fail) has become about how slashers react to criticism of slash and is then being applied to the genre itself with no differentiation. Yes, writers can be terrible about responding to criticism; this does not devalue what they write. I'm dealing with slash, for the record, not with the issue of slasher reaction to criticism.

Here's what I'm going to do. This is divided into two pieces. The first are My Thoughts, and is hopefully not exactly the sort of flaily defensive thing I've been trying to avoid. I can only use my own perspective, so that's what I've done. The second (much more painful lol) will be posted later, in the form of a ten-year review/meme of my time writing fanfic, from where I started to where I am now, pulling one fic a year from my files and looking at it to see if I have grown like I feel I have, or if I'm just in an echo chamber making myself feel better.

Between these two, I reached almost 5000 words of what is hopefully not BS. Yeah, it's like that. Oi.
Teal Deer Found Here )
tsukinofaerii: This is how I roll (Panda)
Happy birthday, [livejournal.com profile] velithya!

For the... (counts) Possibly three people not on [livejournal.com profile] cap_ironman, there is fic posted over yonder.

I hate it when my head refuses to turn off. I kept waking up in the middle of the night mid-way through a thought. o.O; I'm probably going to go meta on my Thinky Thoughts, so I'll apologize right off the bat. (sweatdrop) My brain goes odd places around four AM. I really, truly and deeply need to get my grubbies on some good histories of homosexuality in the 1940s, America. Google has some interesting things, but nothing comprehensive. Of course, a lot of the focus is on German-occupied areas, which is completely understandable, but it doesn't help me with this. Short of asking the perspective of people who were there (notably grandparents who might have heart trouble at the questions), it's a little hard to get a grip on the culture and the signals. I'm going to try though.

Hypothesis: 616 Captain America was originally (and stereotypically, grah) coded as homosexual. Subtly, so there's always the distinct possibility that I'm pulling this out of fangirl daydreams and thin air. Thus, the need to research this more. It has some Unfortunate Implications, though. :(
Forward! )

(breathes) Okay, now maybe I can turn my brain off. @.@
tsukinofaerii: Whosoever findeth this hammer, if she be hot, shall wield the power of the gnarly Thor (Sephiroth)
Meta that is and should never be. Right lol.

Okay, so I was thinking. Male characters as women. We all know genderbender fanfic exists and some of us love it. I, particularly love it for the revenge factor. "Yeah, that's what cramps feel like! Now tell me I'm being melodramatic, you bastard!" Yes, I admit it's petty, but I don't exactly get to express those sentiments RL-side, so doing it in fiction is nicely cathartic. But... you know, it doesn't really address all the pain of being a girl, does it? There's a lot of things that suck for women that you only really notice if you were raised dealing with it, or if people apply it to you, which arguably isn't likely to happen in a magical-vagina scenario.
feminine overdrive rant goes here )
That's part of the reason why I like genderswitch fic. It's easy to say "it's just the same character with different plumbing", but it's not. Really it's not. Societal pressures are totally different for a girl than for a boy. It changes things, sometimes in ways that can be huge when you actually sit down and factor these things in. The whole story has to adjust itself around the character, not because he's a she, but because she experienced different struggles than he did.

To pull out a completely shameless plug, I wrote a (bad) HP fic that genderswitched everyone, and I mean everyone. I had to write out a list of alternate names in order to keep track of them. HP is odd in terms of gender and feminist issues, so there didn't seem to be much to go on, but some things were pretty radical. One character that changed the most was Draco/Dracaena.
Shameless Plug )
Now for the completely random headcanon that I've been thinking of: Tony Stark. Born a girl. I can blame this train of thought on what got me into the fandom. Namely, this. They started it; I'm just dragging the idea out to its logical conclusion. Except that I'm going to go with Toni (from Antonia) rather than Natasha. There are reasons for this. (Mostly that I think there are reasons she would shorten her name to a short, sharp sound, and "Nat" doesn't seem like a good name.)
Tony in a dress! Woo! )
After that, my headcanon runs out, because my canon runs out lol. I've really no idea how Toni would handle all the crap Tony went through and continues to go through.

WHEW. Now that that's out of my system, I can feel safe never ever writing it. I have too many fics as it is, lol. (zomg 2,400 words of rambling, wtf?)
tsukinofaerii: Can't Think Without Coffee (Coffee)
I also has a coffee, which hopefully will help me get through the meta. But considering how hard it is to type right now, probably not. ._. Please bear with me, I swear I've been thinking about this for days. Any incoherence isn't the result of it being way too early on a Monday. It's just me.

Warning for SPN Spoilers!
Possibly also some Bible spoilers.
...
JESUS DIES. I SPOILED YOU. HAHAHAHAHAHA.I'm okay. Really.

SPN Meta of Symbolism, Religion and Headdesks of Dean )

Thoughts

Nov. 7th, 2008 09:03 am
tsukinofaerii: Can't Think Without Coffee (Coffee)
NOTICE: FREE OBAMA STICKERS

It's a little early for me to be outraged yet. I generally need more coffee. (See icon.) In fact, I'd kind of already knew what I wanted to post this morning. It went something like:
  1. I have to click "Previous 20" when checking my flist every morning. THIS IS AWESOME.
  2. SPN has taken a newly disturbing and yet highly amusing turn.
  3. I HAVE META AND NOT ENOUGH INFO ON SPN TO KNOW IF MY META HAS BEEN META'D BEFORE HALP
  4. YAY blue state! YAY Obama-sama! YAY PUPPEH.


It was supposed to be a happy day. But then I read this, and followed the link to this, and now I'm not so happy anymore. In fact, I'm kind of insanely horrified guilt-stricken ashamed pissed. Really really pissed.

We did an amazing, history-making thing on the fourth. We also did a horrible, history-making thing. And it's easy to lose sight of the bad one when we finally have something really great. But it's important not to.
Read more... )
tsukinofaerii: Whosoever findeth this hammer, if she be hot, shall wield the power of the gnarly Thor (Pervy DiZ)
Warning: 2000 words of tl;dr ahead.

It may shock many who don't share the interest, but I spent a number of happy hours today surfing through the academic and journalist sections of the web. Part of the reason why isn't very admirable. There's a sick, subversive joy in reading about an outsider's view of my "inside group", and then writing a post about how they're doing it wrong. I also find it extremely interesting to read the rare article that has its hamsters in a row. They have a way of making me think about myself in relation to what I do, as well as in relation to what I don't do, and who I don't do it with. Say what you like, but as long as I'm being accused of over-thinking, I'm not being accused of failing to think at all.
But this is the downside of that. )
Every generation has its achievement and its tragedy. My grandparents had WWII and the Great Depression. My parents had Free Love and Viet Nam. I think perhaps my generation has the Iraq War, and if so I can only be thankful that we've come so far that the Iraq War is considered a true tragedy. But what is our achievement? I think it will be the empowered discourse created by the internet—a language of "we" rather than of "I". It will be a refusal to accept anything "because it is" and instead investigate it for what it can be. I think that, the greatest achievement of my generation will ultimately be the ability to laugh at itself, to accept mistakes and continue the dialogue into improvement. We're very good at taking ourselves serious, and addressing any criticism as a personal affront rather than an alternate view. That ability, to laugh, accept and adjust, to exist as a group and not as a million individuals, is something I don't think has ever truly been embodied in the American spirit.

Maybe it's time it did.
tsukinofaerii: This is how I roll (Panda)
Advance warning: this is going to be seriously tl;dr and tmi. Something's been bugging me for a week, and I've finally come to grips with my thoughts enough to post about it.

For the people who go "oh, she's on another social justice trip, move along"... Well, move along. (I'm pretty this is all of you. Has my flist no interest in serious things?) If you're embarrassed about masturbation (especially your own if you're a girl), talking about masturbation or in any way hung up on masturbation... well, this one is about you. And me, obviously.

Ooh, wait, I said the m-word. Three times! Scary. Actually, this is embarrassing me to type, and I'm kind of positive that I'm going to have to fight not to private-lock it when I'm done. Which is kind of the problem.
Starting from the beginning )
tsukinofaerii: Whosoever findeth this hammer, if she be hot, shall wield the power of the gnarly Thor (Resume)
ETA: Because I got almost no sleep last night, I'm trying to work on something that doesn't need many braincells. And in the process I have figured out that there is almost NO SUCH THING as a good rock-type gambling song that doesn't end up somehow being a broken-hearted love song and WHY IS THIS? GRAH.

Okay, so another post. Sue me. This actually has academic interest, and probably personal interest to a lot of people because I know that there are people splashed all over my flist who grossly under-estimate their abilities.

I just finished reading this. It's kind of amazingly fascinating and a little depressing, actually. What it comes down to is a single question:

Do the incompetent have the ability to recognize their own failings?

And the answer is a resounding NO. In general, people estimate themselves to be in the 60-70 percentile compared to their peers. Which means people at the bottom of the pot are thinking they're above average. This is really not news, but what is news is that what's causing this is a lack of knowledge regarding what they lack knowledge about. So for example, if someone knows basic algebra but badly, the only way they can know that they're bad at algebra is to learn algebra. The flip side of this is that people who are in the top percentile tend to under-estimate themselves by self-ranking in the 60-70 percentile. Meaning that both the incompetent and highly competent have roughly the same self-estimates of ability compared to their peers. Showing people the work of others made the competent revives their assessments closer to the truth, while the incompetent tended to keep their assumptions of ability. The only solution was training.
Applying This )
Basically, this is just incredibly interesting. But what really strikes me is...

How is one supposed to identify ones own incompetence? It's a puzzle, because they're honestly no way for a person lacking significant skill (especially in a non-academic medium) to self-identify easily. A write who gets few reviews may be a poor writer or simply not "out there" enough. Either way, they're probably going to think they're above average.

I suppose the only solution is to acquire those skills, regardless of one's self-assessed competence. That way, if you're good you can only get better. If you're bad, you'll realize it and either get out of the game or improve. No matter what, we all win. :D
tsukinofaerii: This is how I roll (Panda)
Sometimes I headdesk at work. *sigh* Such as right now. There are comments I can't reply to because of the content of the post they're on. Worse, they're comments which point out typos, but as soon as I figured out which post they were on... VROOM. Back button, ENGAGE. So now I'm flailing a bit and fussing because I detest letting typos/errors in fiction stand.

Work. Feh.

Ahem. Anyways, this kind of started in my head as a rant about Religion making no-so-sweet love to Politics, wandered towards why I think polygamy ruined it for the rest of us, and ended up somewhere in the realm of Fandom standardization, which I'm bemoaned before. Not that I have a degree in either topic to my name, but our right to complain about thing we're uneducated in was guaranteed when the property requirement was removed from voting laws. So after a bit of quiet internal debate (that is, mental gymnastics), I've decided to separate the schools of thought and dropped fandom altogether, since most people who'll like one won't really care about the other.
Religion, Politics, and Why the Twain Shall Never Take Their Hands Away from Each Other's Naughty Bits )
Why Religious Polygamy Bugs Me Is That It's Not Polygamy )
In short: Religion. Politics. Get your genitalia out of each others mouths, plskthx.
tsukinofaerii: Whosoever findeth this hammer, if she be hot, shall wield the power of the gnarly Thor (Jack/Will)
Just in case anyone doubts my fannish opinion on this, here it is in big bold letters:

IF DISNEY GETS INTO THE GROWN-UP ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY, I VOTE KINGDOM HEARTS AS ITS PILOT PROGRAM.

Ahem. Okay, so I have more serious opinions to follow, but I just had to say that. The amount of skin Riku had covered in KHII was a crime.

Disney's Titillation and Litigation
My Breakdown and Rant )
tsukinofaerii: Whosoever findeth this hammer, if she be hot, shall wield the power of the gnarly Thor (Panda of Doom)
I just found an absolutely fascinating editorial.

Far too often, religious services in the USA are of the adults, by the adults and for the adults. And don't think young people aren't noticing.

Go ahead and read it. I douby many people on my list will want to chat... but I'm willing to "preach". :p
Onward, Millennial Civilians )
tsukinofaerii: Whosoever findeth this hammer, if she be hot, shall wield the power of the gnarly Thor (Thieves and Beggars)
This is me trying to re-discover my inspiration to finish the sequel to a story that wasn't really noticed much. (Yes, I know that sounds pitiful and like I write for the reviews. Hush. I'm emo'ing.)

Yesterday I discovered something that, in the big view isn't really a big deal, but for me is rather immediately tragic. I lost roughly 30-something pages of a story to some sort of computer glitch. Now I'm trying to sit down and start typing it out again, and it's just not coming. I want to write it, but crushing setbacks take time to heal. I'm in love with the OCs I've created in this universe, and it contains several ideas I've hashed together from the very core of KH canon. But without the spark of my original affair with the concept or a feeling of owing it to expectant readers, it's going to be hard to type. Usually one or the other is enough, but neither... Well.

This post is mostly for my own benefit. I need to convince myself to pick that story back up again. To do so, I'm going to lay out several staples of KH and define them as I interpret canon. This goes incredibly far beyond what canon directly gives us, and this therefore disputable. Maybe once I really dig back into my theories, I'll feel the need to lay them out in fic-format again. I'll also dig into the relationships as I see them play out in future canon. This means slash. It also means SPOILERS.

These ideas are the basis of the arc I've created called Rerise and Fall, the first of which is Falling Into Sunrise. This entire post is a gigantic spoiler for the concept, but it doesn't give away any plot details.
My Canon )
tsukinofaerii: Whosoever findeth this hammer, if she be hot, shall wield the power of the gnarly Thor (Default)
I seem to be doing a lot of these things, don't I? What I'd really like to know is why people grab at the little things I mention that are completely side-points to my argument, rather than staying in topic?

New Rant, Folks )
tsukinofaerii: Whosoever findeth this hammer, if she be hot, shall wield the power of the gnarly Thor (Default)
What do you know, I found that "Is Harry gay" thread I've been joking about. And, once again, have too much time on my hands at work. It's not as good as the other, nor as long, but since there's only a limited number of options, there weren't many points to hit.

And yes, I'm fully aware that thinking other people are attractive doesn't mean you're attracted to their gender. Then again, it doesn't mean you aren't. So Nyah. (raspberry) Covered it in the post anyways.

Onward, to freedom, glory and slash! )
tsukinofaerii: Whosoever findeth this hammer, if she be hot, shall wield the power of the gnarly Thor (Default)

There's currently a debate going on right here in the Slytherin section of FictionAlley's.Org's forums. Being a huge Draco fan, of course I participated. And somehow went a teeny bit over-board. Seeing as how I actually like the point's I've made, I decided to post my bits here for the ages. It's been edited so you (Neko and P-chan, probably) won't have to have read the rest of the thread to know what I'm talking about. It's jumpy, and is begging to be re-written into proper essay format. Maybe later. ^^;

Yes, I'm pitiful this way.

To the Rant )

Well, I feel better now. Hm, I wonder if I can find a "is Harry gay?" thread, so this one has a compliment...

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tsukinofaerii: Whosoever findeth this hammer, if she be hot, shall wield the power of the gnarly Thor (Default)
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